Rene Artois runs a small cafe in France during World War II. He always
seems to have his hands full: He's having affairs with most of his
waitresses, he's keeping his wife happy, he's trying to please the German
soldiers who frequent his cafe, and he's running a major underground
operation for the Resistance. Quite often, the Germans' incompetence itself
is what nearly lands Rene and his cohorts in hot water; they are not helped
either by the locals, who are dreadfully keen to get rid of the Germans,
but their blatant and theatrical attempts at espionage and secrecy often
create problems that Rene must solve quickly.
Rene Artois is the owner and manager of a cafe in German-occupied France of
World War II. To look at him, it's hard to believe that some women find him
irresistible, something he has to work hard to hide from his wife Edith.
Rene's cafe, frequented by both the German military and the French
resistance, is the focal point for the show. Rene's a bit of a coward and
is stuck in the middle, trying to humor both sides. Hidden in the cafe are
two English airmen who don't understand a word of French. Other characters
include Lt. Gruber, a homosexual German tank driver; Otto Flick, the evil
SS officer who is always outsmarted; and Engelbert von Smallhausen, his
small sidekick. Rene's not the only coward in town: Captain Hans Geering
and Colonel Kurt von Strohm are constantly on the defensive, along with
Captain Alberto Bertorelli of the Italian army who has a medal for
servicing Fiats. Much of the farce comes from Officer Crabtree, an British
agent disguised as a French policeman with a poor grasp of "Zee Fronch
Linguige," and from Rene's amorous waitresses, Mimi, Yvette, and Maria.
In this spoof of World War II, Rene Artois runs a cafe in German-occupied
France. He is also an unwilling agent of the Germans, mostly under the
command of Col. Kurt von Strohm, and of the French Resistance, under the
command of Michelle Dubois ("Listen very carefully; I shall say this only
once"). Rene is married to aged Edith, who is the worst singer in the
world, but he finds that young women find him sexy. Most of the plots
include planning the murder of the local commanding German officer, General
Erich von Klinkerhoffen, as well as the ownership of a painting called "The
Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies"--a painting that everybody would love
to get their hands on to sell after the war. He has also two downed idiot
British airmen who, as time goes by, are impossible to get rid of. The main
opposition is the insane SS officer Otto Flick. Rene tries to complete the
German and the Fench Resistance's plans, even though he's a coward and
wonders if he's going to get out of the war alive.