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Southpark >> Season 9
Season 9 Episode 0
S09E00
1. Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina
S09E01 / Air Date: 09 March 2005
 
Mr. Garrison feels like a woman trapped in a man's body, so he gets a sex-change operation, but Mr. Slave doesn't like it at all. Meanwhile, Kyle wants to become tall and black so he can play basketball, and tries to convince his parents to let him get a "negroplasty."
 
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2. Die Hippie, Die
S09E02 / Air Date: 16 March 2005
 
Cartman finally decides to rid the world of hippies once and for all. He goes around town trying to exterminate them, but when the Mayor allows the hippies to hold a Woodstock-like concert in South Park, Cartman's plan becomes a lot more difficult then he originally thought.
 
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3. Wing
S09E03 / Air Date: 23 March 2005
 
Upon discovering that Token has an amazing singing voice, the boys want to become his agents so they can collect ten percent of his earnings. Soon, they are representing Wing, who is the wife of the owner of City Wok. The boys travel to California to get her a record deal, but next thing they know, they are in trouble with the Chinese Mafia.
 
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4. Best Friends Forever
S09E04 / Air Date: 30 March 2005
 
Kenny gets a new Sony PSP, and Cartman is jealous. When Kenny is hit by a truck, Cartman learns that Kenny left him the Sony PSP in his will. Unfortunately for Cartman, Kenny is now in a vegetative state. Stan and Kyle fight to keep Kenny alive, and Cartman fights to let him die. Meanwhile, Satan's army is trying to take heaven and only Kenny can save it.
 
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5. The Losing Edge
S09E05 / Air Date: 06 April 2005
 
The baseball season is ending, and the boys are happy because none of them enjoys the game. When they realize there is a post-season league, they intentionally try to lose so they can stop playing. Randy gets drunk and violent with other parents, but there is one parent he may not be able to intimidate.
 
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6. The Death of Eric Cartman
S09E06 / Air Date: 13 April 2005
 
The boys have had it with Cartman, and decide to ignore him completely. When everyone joins in, Cartman assumes he must be dead. Thinking that Butters is the only one who can see him, he figures he must repent for all his sins to pass on into the afterlife.
 
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7. Erection Day
S09E07 / Air Date: 20 April 2005
 
Jimmy fears his sudden, uncontrollable erections will prevent him from participating in the school talent show. He goes to Butters for advice, who tells him he must put his penis in a girl's vagina before it will get soft again. Jimmy tries to accomplish this before the talent show begins.
 
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8. Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow
S09E08 / Air Date: 19 October 2005
 
Stan and Cartman crash a speedboat into a dam, flooding the neighboring town of Beaverton. Since neither of the boys admits what they've done, people blame everything from the president to global warming for the disaster. They spend so much time trying to assign blame, that they have no time to help the citizens of Beaverton.
 
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9. Marjorine
S09E09 / Air Date: 26 October 2005
 
The boys have reason to think that girls can see into the future. They decide that one of them must pretend to be a girl so they can obtain access to the girls' secret information. All they have to do is fake Butters' death, and then re-introduce him to the class as "the new girl." Unfortunately, Mr. and Mrs. Stotch believe their son is really dead.
 
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10. Follow That Egg
S09E10 / Air Date: 02 November 2005
 
The children in Ms. Garrison's class are paired up to practice their parenting skills by taking care of eggs. Ms. Garrison realizes she still has feelings for Mr. Slave, who plans to marry Big Gay Al as soon as the Governor signs the same-sex marriage bill. Ms. Garrison, broken-hearted, tries to stop the gay-marriage bill from passing.
 
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11. Ginger Kids
S09E11 / Air Date: 09 November 2005
 
Cartman gives an oral report on "Ginger Kids" - kids with red hair, fair skin, and freckles - and convinces the other students to shun them. Due to a little prank, Cartman himself becomes infected with "Gingervitus" and, upset by all the teasing he originally promoted, he convinces ginger kids to follow his lead and fight for "Red Power."
 
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12. Trapped in the Closet
S09E12 / Air Date: 16 November 2005
 
Stan becomes interested in Scientology, and the Scientologists try to convince him he is to be their new leader. Tom Cruise goes into Stan's closet and refuses to come out, and even denies the fact that he's in the closet. Even R. Kelly's desperate pleas won't convince Tom Cruise to come on out. Meanwhile, Stan's involvement in Scientology puts a strain on his friendship with Kyle.
 
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13. Free Willzyx
S09E13 / Air Date: 30 November 2005
 
Fooled by a pair of practical joker sea-life trainers, Kyle convinces the other boys that they need to free a "talking" whale and allow him to be reunited with his family on the moon. The boys' plan to save the whale becomes more complex than they originally thought, and soon they are looking for places to hide the poor creature.
 
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14. Bloody Mary
S09E14 / Air Date: 07 December 2005
 
Stan feels embarrassed when his father is arrested for drunk driving. Meanwhile, a statue of the Virgin Mary bleeds and people from all over embark on pilgrimages to see it, hoping to be healed by its power. Randy believes the bleeding statue can cure him of his alcoholism.
 
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